Do Random Acts of Kindness Really Exist?

04/07/2007


People are rude. I see it all around me. For instance, last weekend I was driving to the mall with my mother. I attempted to change lanes, but when I turned on my blinker the car in the next lane sped up so I couldn’t merge. Did that car get to its destination any quicker because the driver wouldn’t allow me to get in front of him? Nope. As it turned out we were both headed to the mall and got to the same parking garage at the same time. Would it have hurt him (yes, it was a man) to slow down a moment to let me get in front of him? Nope, but I see rudeness like this happening all the time.

Once my mother and I got to the mall we parked the car and entered a department store through a set of double glass doors. We were only a few steps behind a woman in front of us. She opened the doors and entered the store, but didn’t bother looking back. She let the door close in my mother’s face. Rude? Definitely, but I don’t think it was intentional. The woman was simply in a hurry and not paying attention to her surroundings.

But that got me thinking. Do random acts of kindness exist anymore? I tried to think of occurrences where an act of kindness was shown to me. When was the last time a stranger held a door open for me? Or let me cut in line at Jamba Juice? I couldn’t think of any, but then I realized I was just as guilty. When was the last time I had shown kindness to a complete stranger? I couldn’t remember that either.

The following Monday I was on my way home from work. While on the freeway a car in the next lane turned on its blinker to merge into my lane. What did I do? I sped up! I was no better than the jerk I had cussed out the day before for doing the exact same thing to me. Not long after another car wanted to merge into my lane. This time I slowed down and let the driver change lanes. I was met with a friendly wave. There were no immediate benefits to my good deed. I didn’t win the lottery that night or make every green light on the way home. I half expected Ed McMahon to be waiting on my front porch with a Publisher’s Clearing House check, but that didn’t happen either.

The only thing I could hope for was that the driver who I expressed kindness to would extend the courtesy to someone else. My kindness would start a chain reaction of kindness all across the city, the state, even the world! Maybe that’s asking too much, but think about what a better existence we would have if we all showed at least one act of kindness a day to a complete stranger. I decided that’s what I would do. If nothing else I would at least feel better about myself for trying to make a difference. I was also curious to see the reactions I would get since kindness seems to have stopped being a part of our culture.

I showed my first act of kindness while standing in line at the grocery store. My cart was fairly full, but the woman behind me had only a few items, but still too many to go through the express lane. She seemed to be in a hurry so I asked if she wanted to go in front of me. Of course she said yes, but she also thanked me. She then proceeded to tell me how excited her two small children were about coloring eggs for Easter. One of the items she was buying was an egg coloring kit. We made the usual small talk that strangers do when forced together in public places, but it was light hearted and she was genuine in her appreciation for my letting her take cuts in line.

I tried the same trick while in line at Barnes and Noble. Two brothers, probably around 8 and 10 years old were in line behind me. Their mother called the oldest boy on his cell phone. I gathered from the boy’s side of the conversation that their mother was angry because, heaven forbid, she was outside in the car and didn’t want to wait any longer. I offered to let the boys go in front of me so they wouldn’t get in trouble for making their mother wait. They said thank you, but declined. Evidently acts of kindness don’t work too well on kids, but I tried and I think they understood my intentions.

My acts of kindness didn’t stop there however. Once I started showing kindness I found the opportunities to do so were everywhere and I couldn’t limit myself to just one act of kindness a day either. Once I started I couldn’t stop. Expressing kindness wasn’t some great inconvenience and it actually took very little effort. At college I took a moment to help a young student pick up her papers after she dropped her notebook. On the trolley I let an elderly man have my seat so he could sit with his wife. The more I expressed kindness, the more I saw other people expressing it as well. Maybe not to the extent that it affected the entire country, but it was a start.

When I began showing acts of kindness my reasons were not selfish. I simply wanted to see what would happen. I wasn’t expecting some huge reward in return and I didn’t get any either, unless you want to count the many smiles, thank yous, and overall good feeling I felt in my heart. So do random acts of kindness really exist? I think they do.